YOU CAN DO IT FUNNY QUOTES

“I can do anything, but only after I finish this nap.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.”

“I may be slow, but at least I’m consistent.”

“I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts.”

“Step aside, coffee, this is a job for alcohol.”

“I can resist everything except temptation… and pizza.”

“I don’t have a problem with caffeine, I have a problem without it.”

“My idea of a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.”

“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.”

“The only exercise I do is running out of patience.”

“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.”

“I’m on a 30-day diet, I just don’t know if it’s days or years.” ANNIVERSARY 365 DAYS OF LOVE QUOTES

“I don’t make mistakes, I create unexpected outcomes.”

“If I won’t meet your expectations, lower your standards.”

“Who needs a six-pack when you can have a barrel?”

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”

“Why chase dreams? Let them sleep, then they’ll come to you.”

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop p*ssing me off.”

“My gym routine is mainly running my mouth and jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m not irresponsible, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actually actively avoiding work.”

“They say ‘don’t try this at home,’ so I went to your place.”