TATTOO FUNNY QUOTES

by

“I’m not afraid of commitment… just terrified of my own bad choices.”

“I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday…”

“My mind says exercise, but my heart says cupcakes.”

“I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.”

“I may be older, but I refuse to grow up.”

“I don’t make mistakes, just spontaneous, designer alterations.”

“I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything!”

“My life is a constant battle between wanting to be productive and wanting to take a nap.”

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me!”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“My doctor says I have a Vitamin D deficiency… I just think it’s a lack of beach vacations.” FAMOUS LEARNING QUOTES AND SAYINGS

“I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“Cleaning my house while my kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk while it’s still snowing.”

“I tried to be an adult once. Worst 10 minutes of my life.”

“Warning: this body is a limited edition.”

“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!”

“I refuse to grow up. I’m a Toys R Us kid on a never-ending vacation.”

“I finally realized I don’t need a superhero, I have myself.”

“Brains are awesome, I wish everybody had one.”

“I like to think that my life is kind of like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just me laughing at my own jokes.”

“Chocolate is my substitute for everything I need except love, and sometimes even that too.”

“I’m not clumsy, I just like to test gravity regularly.”

“Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m the one who forgot to fasten their seatbelt.”

FAMOUS LEARNING QUOTES AND SAYINGS