RANDOM FUNNY QUOTE GENERATOR

“I asked my computer how to cure my boredom. It gave me a list of doctors in my area.”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big hug.”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!”

“I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!”

“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!”

“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'” EAGLE POSITIVE QUOTES

“What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King mackerel!”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“I’m friends with all the letters of the alphabet. I don’t discriminate!”

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a big hug.”

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

“Did you hear about the kidnapping at the orchard? They took the apple!”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”

“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'”

“What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King mackerel!”