JOKES FUNNY QUOTES TO CHEER SOMEONE UP

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just practicing my dance moves.”

“Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.”

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

“I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!”

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them!”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!”

“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!”

“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Thursdays.'”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” NO TIME WASTE QUOTES

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

“Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”

“I wouldn’t say I’m addicted to fitness. It’s more like I’m in a very committed relationship!”

“Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!”

“I’m writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t read it!”

“What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!”

“Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize? Because he was outstanding in his field.”

“I’m so good at sleeping; I can do it with my eyes closed!”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out!”

“If life hands you melons, you’re probably dyslexic!”