IF HE CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your enemy’s eyes.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'”

“I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”

“My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.”

“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

“If swimming is a sport, then pool cleaning must be an Olympic event.”

“I’m not clumsy, my floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”

“I’m trying to lose weight, but it’s not working. My fridge doesn’t believe in me.”

“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘Well, I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'” HORSE LOVE QUOTES SHORT

“Why don’t skeletons ever fight? They don’t have the guts.”

“I called the bakery to order a cake. They asked me what message I wanted on it. I said, ‘Sorry, I’m on a diet.'”

“I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I can’t stop tripping!”

“My dad always told me, ‘Don’t be a barber unless you’re ready to part with it.'”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”

“I went to the bank to withdraw some money. The cashier said, ‘Do you want a bag with that?’ I replied, ‘No, thanks. I already have enough baggage in life.'”

“Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met!”

“The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally!”