HILARIOUS MOTHER AND DAUGHTER QUOTES

“I smile because you’re my daughter. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“I love my daughter, but damn she can talk.”

Daughter: “Mom, can I have the car tonight?” Mom: “Sure, just bring it back with a full tank of gas and a cleaned interior… in your dreams.”

“Having a teenage daughter is like having a blender without a lid. Everything comes out messy.”

“I told my daughter she should be more humble, and then she reminded me who her mother is.”

“Sometimes I look at my daughter and think, ‘Wow, I raised that smart-ass.'”

Daughter: “Mom, can I go out tonight?” Mom: “No.” Daughter: *leaves the room* Mom: “I should’ve said something more creative, like ‘get out and stay out!'”

“My mom texted me saying she misses me, but when I went downstairs, she acted like it was a case of mistaken identity.”

“My daughter asked if I was her real mom. I said, ‘Of course not. I’m just your imaginary friend.'”

“I asked my daughter where her sibling is and she casually replied, ‘Oh, I sold them on eBay.'”

Daughter: “Mom, can I have the Wi-Fi password?” Mom: “Sure, just clean the entire house first.” Daughter: *starts sweeping vigorously*

“Daughter, someday you will make a great wife.” Daughter: “Well, I sure hope so, considering the amount of practice I’ve had with you!”

“My daughter told me she needs money for a school trip. I told her to check her piggy bank, and she replied, ‘Mom, it’s not 197'” QUOTE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM

“My daughter is a walking, talking contradiction. She tells me I embarrass her in public, but then asks why I’m not cheering loud enough at her game.”

Daughter: “Mom, can I borrow your makeup?” Mom: “Sure, but be careful not to overdo it. We don’t want people to think you’re an actual clown.”

“If having a teenager has taught me anything, it’s that I’m no longer the cool mom. I’m just the embarrassing one who still tries.”

“My daughter asked me if she could change her last name. I told her sure, as long as she covers the cost of updating all her birth certificates and identifications.”

Daughter: “Mom, can I have some money for the mall?” Mom: “Sure, just give me your unwavering loyalty and undying devotion in return.”

“Daughter: “Mom, can I have a puppy?” Mom: “Sure, just make sure you’re ready to take care of a living being that will rely on you for the next 15 years.” Daughter: *silence*

“My teenage daughter gave me a list of all the things she hates about me. I framed it and hung it on the wall as a reminder of my accomplishments.”

“Daughter: ‘Mom, can I have the new iPhone?’ Mom: ‘Sure, go find a part-time job and buy it yourself.'”

“Raising a daughter is like trying to fold a fitted sheet. No matter how hard you try, it always ends up a mess.”

Daughter: “Mom, can I get a tattoo?” Mom: “Sure, just make sure it’s spelled correctly. I don’t want any regrets on my permanent regrets.”

“My daughter said I’m starting to sound like my own mother. I told her that’s the circle of life and one day she’ll sound like me too.”