HANDSOME JACK BEST QUOTES

“If you can’t take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home. And crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross. But it’s not for the timid.”

“As I said before, I am Handsome Jack, and I am here to help you. Help you find Pandora’s Vault, help you find the planet that protects the Vaults, and help you find me while I stuff my handsome, muscular, toned body into every corner of this planet. Then I’ll reopen the Vault and BLAMMO! Everyone dies.”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“I’m the best at everything I do. And that includes dying!”

“You can’t hurt me, not anymore. Power’s too dangerous for assholes like you and your little friends.”

“The moral is: You’re a total bitch.”

“You’re gonna fight through the scum of Pandora and take him down. Save the chick.”

(Tales from the Borderlands)

“I hate heroes. Villains, I respect.”

“So, how’s your day been, buddy? We haven’t really had a chance to chat. You know, have a proper conversation.”

“It’s a fine day, full of opportunity!”

“What’s driving me? It’s the promise of a planet that’ll kill you one minute and heal you the next.”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“I’m sorry, the position of ‘the position of annoying little s**t’ has been filled. By me.”

“I always knew I’d be the last one standing.”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“It’s not about money. It’s about sending a message. Everything burns.”

(Tales from the Borderlands)

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Handsome Jack lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

(Portal 2, Easter egg in Borderlands 2)

“Pity, but hell, sometimes it’s nice to see your friends on the other side.”

“I’m handsome, obviously. I’m obviously handsome.” FAMOUS INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“The moral of the story is, you’re a total bitch.”

(Borderlands 2, Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep DLC)

“You know what kills me about that moron? It’s not that he’s dumb, it’s just that he’s weak. That kind of weakness, it just…drags everything down.”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“God dangit, I sound amazing.”

“All of life is a battle for territory and this, is my domain, this is my planet, and you? You’re on the outside looking in.”

“I am the greatest engineer alive!”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“It’s a really great plan and I love it. It’s awesome.”

“You don’t get to deny him anything. You don’t get to tell him how to live his life. You’re not even a person!”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“I smell a rat…and I think that rat is the vault hunter standing in front of me.”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“Now, before you get all ‘but we died’, probably from internal bleeding and/or massive heart failure, should be done with your chores and come on up. Just follow the screaming.”

“Open your eyes, look around. This place is absolutely beauteous!”

(Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“Everything I ever did, I did to protect this planet! And every idiot that stands in my way. (Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel)

“The ending to that little story that we all love so much? Was that you killed her son.”