FUNNY QUOTES FROM DEADPOOL

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“I’m kind of a big deal… if you’re into small, whiny guys.”

“I have the ability to ignore stupid people, but that doesn’t mean I won’t call them out on it.”

“I’ve got 99 problems, and 95 of them are chimichangas.”

“I do what I do best, which is being myself. And if that involves breaking the fourth wall, so be it!”

“I’m not crazy. I just have the type of thoughts that would make Sigmund Freud’s head explode.”

“I’m not a hero, but trust me, I’m definitely not a superhero either.”

“I’m like a bad rash; you just can’t get rid of me.”

“Life’s a bitch, and I’m her favorite ex-boyfriend.”

“I’m not sure if I’m indestructible or just really good at avoiding dangerous situations.”

“I once had a dream that I could save the world… then I woke up with a chimichanga in my hand. Dreams can be cruel.”

“I have a black belt in keeping it real.”

“I’m sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue. You were saying something about me being a wiseass?”

“I’ve always wanted to be a hero, but let’s face it, wearing spandex and saving the day is a lot of work.” INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES SAYINGS

“I never let my schooling interfere with my education. That’s why I dropped out of astronaut school.”

“Some people say I have a twisted sense of humor. I think they’re just jealous because they can’t keep up.”

“I’d say I’m a lover, not a fighter, but let’s be honest, I’m both.”

“I don’t have a problem with authority; I just have a problem with people telling me what to do.”

“My superpower is sarcasm, so watch out world!”

“I’m not sure what the future holds, but I can assure you it’s probably going to be a complete shitshow.”

“I may not be perfect, but at least I’m unique. And that’s something I can live with.”

“I’m the Scarlett Johansson of superhero movies. Totally overrated.”

“I don’t have a superhero origin story. I just woke up this way, awesomeness included.”

“There’s a fine line between superhero and supervillain. I like to walk that line… while doing a tightrope act. With my eyes closed.”

“I don’t need a fancy costume to be a hero. All I need is a sword and some witty one-liners.”

“If life gives you lemons, make lemon grenades and blow up your enemies. Works every time.”

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES SAYINGS