FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND

“My husband has an uncanny ability to find the lost TV remote, but can never seem to find his own socks.”

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person… who can never find anything in the fridge.”

“Marriage is about finding that one special person you can annoy for the rest of your life.”

“My husband thinks he can multitask, but watching TV and talking is not a high-level skill.”

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.”

“My husband believes in ‘asking for forgiveness rather than permission,’ especially when it comes to eating the last slice of pizza.”

“Husbands are like fine wine: they take time to mature… or sometimes they just turn into vinegar.”

“To keep my marriage exciting, I hide the TV remote each night. It’s like a high-stakes game of hide-and-seek, except he always loses.”

“Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and the wife shops.”

“I asked my husband if he ever fantasizes about other women. He replied, ‘Only when they know how to cook!'”

“My husband claims to be a handyman, but I’m convinced his talents are only limited to ‘handy with the TV remote.'”

“Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy… who snores.” FEEL GOOD THOUGHTS QUOTES

“My husband tries to impress me by fixing things around the house, but I’m pretty sure the hammer is there just for show.”

“Marriage is like a box of chocolates; you never know which one you’ll end up arguing over.”

“My husband jokes that he is the head of our household, but I know I’m the neck that turns the head.”

“Husbands: you can’t live with them, and you can’t hide their shoes when they leave them in the middle of the floor.”

“My husband has a great sense of humor… he laughs at his own jokes.”

“Marriage is all about compromise. For example, my husband gets to pick the restaurant, but I get to choose which side of the car window to roll down.”

“I told my husband I needed more space, so he locked me in the bathroom. At least now I have a new reading nook.”

“Marriage is sharing life’s ups and downs, like finding out your husband’s snoring can drown out a chainsaw.”

“My husband has a car wash routine that involves using every single bottle of car cleaning products we have. Who knew detailing a car required a chemistry degree?”

“Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other person is… a husband.”

“They say opposites attract, and in our case, I’m the organized one, and my husband is the reason I need to be organized.”

“My husband surprised me with a romantic candlelit dinner, but it was just to save money on the electricity bill.”