FUNNY QUOTE OF THE DAY FOR ADULTS

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult.”

“I don’t hold grudges, I remember facts.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I am right.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I love Fridays like Kanye loves Kanye.”

“My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.”

“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”

“Stay humble, but still let these peasants know they can’t sit with you.”

“My patience level is inversely proportional to the number of idiots around me.”

“I finally realized that diet stands for ‘did I eat that?'” QUOTES ABOUT YOUR BEST FRIEND ALWAYS BEING THERE

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”

“Being an adult is like a never-ending game of ‘Simon Says’, except ‘Simon’ is your boss, spouse, kids, and responsibilities.”

“My dream job would be the karma delivery service, so I could finally see people get what they deserve.”

“Wine solves everything – just make sure it’s a big enough glass.”

“Adulting is hard, so allow yourself to take breaks and watch cartoons occasionally.”

“I like my coffee like I like my mornings – dark and full of unrealistic expectations.”

“The only exercise I get is running late.”

“I always carry a permanent marker in case anyone asks me for an autograph.”

“I’m not procrastinating, I’m intentionally doing everything but what I’m supposed to be doing.”