FUNNY MISLEADING QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy.”

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.”

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me.”

“I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve already lost three days.”

“I’m not good at flirting, I just don’t know how to fight and hide at the same time.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I always carry a pen in my pocket, but I never learned how to write with it.”

“I’m not addicted to social media, I just can’t stop checking if someone liked my post from 5 minutes ago.”

“I’m not procrastinating, I’m just contemplating the universe’s eternal possibilities.”

“I don’t snore, I dream of being a motorcycle.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just performing random gravity experiments.” INSPIRING CLEANER QUOTES

“I’m not insane, my mother had me tested… once.”

“I don’t need a personal trainer, my chocolate bar motivates me quickly enough.”

“I don’t need a stylist, I just have selective washing detergent that shrinks my clothes.”

“I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.”

“I’m not sure what to do with my life, but I’m pretty sure it will involve chocolate.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m not sure if I’m laughing because it’s funny, or if I’m laughing at my own jokes.”

“I’m not old, I just need a little WD-40 in my joints.”

“I’m not lost, I’m just exploring alternative destinations.”

“I don’t snore, I’m just practicing my Darth Vader impression.”