FUNNIEST SHORT QUOTES

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“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips

“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not sure.” – Unknown

“I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to test gravity.” – Unknown

“The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” – Unknown

“I’m not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example.” – Unknown FUNNY FATHER DAUGHTER QUOTES

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

“Reality continues to ruin my life.” – Bill Watterson

“I may be a genius, but even geniuses have their limits. Mine are currently unknown.” – Unknown

“The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.” – Unknown

“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” – Unknown

“I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks.” – Unknown

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.” – Unknown

“My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I’m not dead.” – Unknown

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper

“If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.” – Anonymous

“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

FUNNY FATHER DAUGHTER QUOTES