END OF DAY QUOTES FUNNY

“I don’t always finish everything on my to-do list, but when I do, I add it to next week’s list.”

“I’ll start working when my coffee does.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I’m just a daydreamer trying to make it through the day.”

“The only exercise I do is running out of excuses.”

“I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I can’t be held responsible for what my face does when I’m tired.”

“I tried being normal once, it was the worst two minutes of my life.”

“I’m not clumsy, I just have gravity control issues.”

“I’ve decided to stop procrastinating…Tomorrow.”

“I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just naturally gifted at doing nothing.”

“Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a superpower.” QUOTES ABOUT BROKEN HEART

“I’m sorry for the things I said when I was hungry.”

“I have a love-hate relationship with my bed. We’re great together, but it’s so hard to leave in the morning.”

“I don’t get enough credit for how much I do in a day. After all, I’m awake for at least 16 hours.”

“I can resist anything except temptation…and sleep.”

“I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a committed relationship.”

“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that when I picked up a pen and it was a highlighter.”

“I’m not late, everyone else is just early.”

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”

“Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.”

“I feel sorry for people who don’t know the joy of a good spreadsheet.”

“Do I run? Yes. Out of time, patience, and money.”

“I have a brand new workout routine. It’s called ‘running late for everything’.”