DARK HUMOR FRIENDSHIP QUOTES

“True friends stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde

“A real friend will help you hide the body… and then turn you in.” – Frasier Crane

“Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.” – Unknown

“Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.” – Arthur Bloch

“I’ll always cherish the false sense of security our friendship gives me.” – Unknown

“A friend will always say ‘You can do it!’… after they laugh at you first.” – Unknown

“A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though they know you’re slightly cracked.” – Bernard Meltzer

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'” – C.S. Lewis

“Friends are like bras, close to your heart and there to support you, but sometimes they just need to be removed.” – Unknown

“A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you’re fooling everyone else.” – Unknown

“A best friend is someone you can call at any hour to help you bury the body… figuratively speaking, of course.” – Unknown

“Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” – Samuel Butler

“Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like, ‘Yep, I like this one,’ and you just do stuff with them.” – Unknown

“A true friend stabs you in the front.” – Unknown

“Friends don’t let friends do stupid things… alone.” – Unknown BEST RESULTS QUOTES

“Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.” – Unknown

“Friends come and go like waves of the ocean, but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.” – Unknown

“True friends give you unconditional support, like a freshly dug grave.” – Unknown

“Friendship is all about finding people who are equally as messed up as you.” – Unknown

“Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.” – Unknown

“The great thing about friendship is that it’s a two-way street, both parties get to scorn each other.” – Unknown

“Friendship is like a golden chain, except it’s made of rusty barbed wire.” – Unknown

“A good friend will help you bury your secrets… and then use them against you when necessary.” – Unknown

“Friends are like broken crayons: colorful, sometimes misshapen, but still useful in an emergency.” – Unknown

“Friendship is like a little boat in a sea of sharks. Eventually, someone will get eaten.” – Unknown

“We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile… and then we’ll be new friends.” – Unknown

“Friendship is like a bank account. You need to give to receive, and sometimes it’s just fun to steal.” – Unknown

“A true friend is someone who knows all your weaknesses and still chooses to be seen in public with you.” – Unknown