“We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye!”
“Just checking the sh***er, honey!”
“Is there anything else I can get you before I’m on my way?”
“You serious, Clark?”
“Hey Griswold! Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”
“Bend over and I’ll show you.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“He’s got a little knot here, you can work on later.”
“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“That there is an RV.” BEAUTY EYES QUOTES
“Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?”
“Looks great! Little full, lotta sap.”
“If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”
“You see Santa tonight, you be sure and tell him to bring my back some money!”
“Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?”
“This is a full-blown four-alarm holiday emergency here.”
“Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.”
“You couldn’t hear a dum