BEST STEVIE QUOTES SCHITTS CREEK

“You know, I had a dream last night that someone finally appreciated me, and it wasn’t a sandwich.”

“I don’t get paid enough to care about someone’s sex life, David.”

“I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to make money and avoid people.”

“I don’t do romance, David. I do sarcasm and disdain.”

“You know, I could drink a cup of tea and tell you everything I know, but I’d rather not waste the tea.”

“I’m not giving up the bed, David. I have scoliosis and a highly evolved sense of self-preservation.”

“I’ve never been in a good relationship because I’m only attracted to unattainable things.”

“I would love to be a part of your gossip session, but I have a life to not care about.”

“I already risked my face falling off today. I’m not risking my voice, too.”

“You can either love me as I am or watch me as I go, because I will not be changing for you.”

“If you can be anything in this world, be kind. And maybe also be a little bit sarcastic.”

“I have a PhD in not giving a shit.” QUOTES ABOUT FFA

“I’m not a huge morning person. I’m more like a 12 p.m. and three cups of coffee type of person.”

“I’ve mastered the art of not caring without looking like I don’t care.”

“If someone tells you they don’t like cheese, it’s because they haven’t tried the right cheese yet.”

“I’m sorry if my sarcasm offends you. Actually, no, I’m not.”

“The best way to resist temptation is to be too busy to care.”

“I don’t need a social life. I have Netflix.”

“I’m single by choice. Because apparently, being chosen is hard work.”

“If life was fair, I would be a millionaire for all the times I’ve rolled my eyes.”

“I’m not sure if ignorance is bliss, but it definitely helps me avoid awkward conversations.”

“The older I get, the more I realize that being an adult means pretending to know what you’re doing while secretly googling everything.”