“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
“Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.” – Andy Borowitz
“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” – Robert Paul
“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown
“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Unknown
“Santa saw your Facebook posts. You’re getting a dictionary for Christmas.” – Unknown
“At Christmas, all roads lead home.” – Marjorie Holmes
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown
“Christmas is like candy; it gradually melts in your mouth—sweetening every taste bud, making you wish that it could last forever.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear SELF MOTIVATION INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES
“Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy, from “Elf”
“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
“The only blind date that is successful is the one you’re too drunk to remember.” – Unknown
“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown