“I’m not a control freak, but you’re doing it wrong.”
“I’m not lazy. I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”
“I’m not late, I’m on my own time zone.”
“I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.”
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop annoying me.”
“Shhh… I work best when I’m ignored.”
“I pretend to work because they pretend to pay me.”
“Coffee: because adulting is hard.”
“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
“The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
“I’m not old. I’m a limited edition classic.” WE WILL MISS YOU FUNNY QUOTES
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on power-saving mode.”
“I’m sorry, my wit took the day off, and I’m all out of sarcasm.”
“The only exercise I do is running late.”
“I don’t have a bad handwriting, my keyboard just doesn’t know how to read it.”
“My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”
“I’m not antisocial. I’m just anti-bullshit.”
“If at first, you don’t succeed, redefine success.”
“I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon.”
“I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.”